Sometimes I Struggle

Written by my wife Joy.

Sometimes it's hard to see Your hand in my life. Sometimes I feel like You've abandoned me. I look for Your will... for a clear sense of direction but life is cloudy with mistakes and indecision.

Sometimes it's hard to hear Your voice. I'm struggling in the wilderness when I long to be on the mountaintop with You where the air is clear and Your Word fills my lungs with ease. Down here in the valley, I feel vulnerable to attacks and defenseless.

Sometimes I struggle with Your map. Just when I've followed a road that I'm sure is the right one, I question whether I've taken a wrong turn... again. Your paths are not easy to follow and are sometimes overgrown with thorns and thistles of the world and it is a challenge just to get to them. These are the roads less travelled. Sometimes the directions don't make sense and I know I have to trust that all the squiggly lines on my map are ordained by You, meticulously drawn by my Shepherd's hand... tailor made for me. This is what you tell me, but sometimes I struggle anyway.

Sometimes I turn away... I know the right thing to do and I can clearly see Your perfect will in choosing the right way, but I look the other direction and plunge ahead. I am a wayward sheep sometimes... bent on doing my own thing and straying out of reach of Your staff, intent on the patch of grass just beyond Your protected boundaries. This happens less often than it used to... but sometimes... I struggle.

You never struggle, Father. Your will is perfect and Your love never fails. You are the light shining in the darkness and You are gracious and long-suffering even when I turn away. Your staff is long and worn with unending love for prodigal sheep like me. I am simply a traveler passing through Your world and I thank You for Your Word to guide me when I lose my way and Your comforting Spirit to calm me when the squiggly lines on the map don't seem to make any sense.

Repent and believe before it's too late

Photo source: Map

 

Seeing Clearly

2 Corinthians 5:16, "So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!" NLT

At one point in my life I worked as a janitor for a Methodist Church in Orlando Florida. The hours were from three to eleven at night. My wife and I haven't owned a car for most of our seventeen years of marriage and at that time I would take public transportation. So after work, I would walk downtown Orlando to get to the bus stop to head home. It was a very interesting time in my life and I met some very interesting people. Some of them were the homeless, making there way to wherever it is they slept at night. Joy and I thought it would be a good idea to make little sack snacks for them as a ministry opportunity. They were little brown bags filled with things like crackers and canned Vienna sausages, among other things. It was an opportunity for me to share the love of Christ with them along with the Gospel. It was great talking to each of them and one in particular would end up teaching me.

I never knew his real name so I called him Moses. He was a tall man with long grey hair and just as long beard. I found out that at one time he was pretty successful in life. He had been married and even served in ministry. But at some point, he had lost his job and that's when his life took a drastic turn. Months went by without any change. He couldn't find a job, his marriage began to fall apart and his whole world began to crumble before his eyes. Things went from bad to worse... First he lost his marriage, which he said was devastating, she had always been the love of his life. Then he lost his home and with no other options, he went into his first shelter. All of this took place eight years before I met him.

At first he said he felt that God had abandoned him. He couldn't understand why He would let him fall so far. God was his protector and look at him now, he's homeless, his wife left him and it seemed that he had no opportunity to get back up on his feet. He continued looking for a job, but everyone said he had to have an address in order to apply. But he couldn't get an address without first getting a job. He felt lost and without hope. Then one day he began talking to another man and shared with him about God. The end result was the man came to Christ. That's when Moses said his eyes were opened. He began sharing the Gospel with all the homeless he came into contact with. He found that they would listen to him, a fellow homeless man, while others they would reject. God began to provide for him in a miraculous way. For example, he was sitting at a bus stop and a random car pulled up and a man told him that he was the pastor of a local Church and he felt God wanted him to stop for some reason. What shocked Moses was the man ended up inviting him to his house, allowing him to shower and get some new clothes and a pair of shoes. Moses said he had only prayed for a pair of shoes. "What a glorious God I serve," he said. He was even invited to give his testimony to the man's Church.

By the time I met Moses, he was a full time missionary in the streets of Orlando. He took no money for his efforts, all he asked was for three meals a day, which God always provided for him. At first glance, he was just another homeless man, someone to easily dismiss and snicker at. He smelled, his back was arched from sleeping on park benches, and he walked slow from the pain in his legs. Most would stay away from him and they would miss out on meeting such a great man of God.

I write this with many tears and I'm thankful to have the honor to tell his story. It's been over a decade since I had the pleasure of meeting Moses and I have no idea if he's still in the streets or at home with his Lord. I think and pray about him and I'm so thankful that he helped teach me so much about how I view others. I can't wait until I get to meet him again in our Father's house.

Hebrews 13:2, "Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!" NLT

Repent and believe before it's too late

Photo source: one and two

 

The Reflection of Marriage

Several years back I was in a Christmas play at my local church. It was a lot of fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I played one of four Nutcrackers and before each performance began, we would stand in the foyer, opposite one another, and pretend that we were statues. Of course, the children liked to come up and poke us to try and get us to move. We would remain motionless until it was time for the play to start, at which point I would yell like a soldier and march toward the platform. It was great to be on stage and I'm glad I was a part of it. Just like the play I was in was meant to represent God's love for us in sending His Son into the world, our marriages are God's play to the rest of the world.

Marriage for a Christian is not only a blessing, if done right, it should also be a great representation of the relationship between the Church and God. The blessing, of course, is that God unites us as one and we get to share our lives with the person we love. And I am so thankful that God bestowed such a huge blessing on me, that He gave me such a wonderful wife. But as great a blessing as it is, I must never forget that it's also God's cosmic play to represent Christ and His bride.

When the outside world looks at us, they should be able to see what it is like to have a proper relationship with God. In this play, the man represents Jesus and the woman represents the Church. How you play your role is critical to the development of the story. Let's take a closer look to get a better understanding of our "roles".

"For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24 NLT)

This passage has been very controversial over the ages as husbands have abused and twisted what this Scripture is saying. They believe submission is domination and that can't be further from the truth.

Think of it like this, Jesus submits to the Father and He did so even to the point of death on the cross (Philippians 2:8). Jesus is in no way lesser than the Father as they are equal in all things (John 10:30). Jesus submits to the Father without losing His equality, and the wife does so in the same way. Jesus is a willing participant, there is no power struggle between the two because, and I can not stress this enough, they are equal. Jesus submits to bring ultimate glory to God, in which He is a part of, and so brings glory to Himself. The submission of the wife is a reflection of the Church's submission to Christ. So wives, by allowing the husbands the leading role, you are giving others a sight into what it means to be a Christian.

"For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." (Ephesians 5:25 NLT)

Husbands, the greater responsibility is on our shoulders. To love our wives as Christ loves the Church is impossible, and yet, it is required of us. There is no greater love than that of God, for God is love (1John 4:8). We are to love them so much that we give up our lives for our wives, to devote ourselves to the ministry of marriage. The reason...

"To make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault." (Ephesians 5:26, 27 NLT)

It is our duty to ensure that our wives have every available resource to grow in her relationship to God and to not be a hindrance. Being the spiritual leader in the home is not about dominance but about love, we are to love our wives as ourselves.

"In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church." (Ephesians 5:28, 29 NLT)

In every way our wives are our first and primary ministry. We must love them, cherish them, and spend more time with them than our hobbies and friends. We must put our wives needs first. Repent of pornography and the sin of lust (Matthew 5:28). We must listen to them. Being submissive does not mean that our wives have no say or authority. They are equal to us in every way and God has so much for our wives to teach us. We can not be foolish in this. Remember, this ministry is a reflection of the love between Jesus and the Church. It is evangelism to the world around us and believe me, the world is watching you. If the world around you can not say, "Wow, Jesus loves me that much!" than you are not fulfilling your role in God's cosmic play.

"So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33 NLT)

Repent and believe before it's too late

Photo source: First and Second